Thursday, February 21, 2008
21st Century Woman
I have been told numerous times and in different ways, all week thusfar that I was lucky to get "away" and have a "vacation". Well, I'm not sure now. The laundry is piled high from the weekend of not having any done, the bathrooms are in need of a scrub, my vacuum broke, dishes NEVER go away, I have not had time to get to the grocery store yet, and the list keeps going. I need a vacation from my vacation now!
It seems to be more work to come home than it is to leave. Worse when you take kids with, but nonetheless, daily chores are ignored while you are gone and they don't go away. They sit. Waiting for you to return. And it doesn't help that after the 'letdown' of having a much needed break, my body went into shutdown mode. I got a sinus infection and terrible cough. But Mom must prevail! Mom doesn't get a vacation. Mom has to work.
And my teaching is piled up too. I have makeups to do from the week of tech/dress rehearsals when I was cancelling left and right to be at the theatre. I have makeups from my weekend away. I can't afford to just give a discount on next months tuition and cancel the missed lessons either. The show needs my help now and so I will still be at the theatre every performance working backstage or running sound. Geoff will be there to help with the rain deck as well. Great extra money - to rid ourselves of debt this year - but so much time and little sanity.
How do women work these days? A full time job and a family?!?! It's insane! I consider myself very fortunate that I have been blessed with the talents to teach/work out of my home. And I have been truly blessed a supportive husband who allows me to work at the theatre, which I love, knowing that the extra money will help, but knowing full-well that the pay does not equal the hours put in. He says nothing because he knows I love it. I watch as televison depicts women who run a household with children, though usually only 1 or 2, and have a full-time job. HOW? There is no way to do this and be sane! How do you balance? I know many of my friends don't work and I'm envious. I would kill to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) but it's not my reality. As I mentioned before, at least I can teach-at-home and still stay-at-home. I would quit the theatre but the money that comes from it has been a tremendous blessing to us. It's carried us through the past 2 years! At this point, we count on it. We need it. Or do we?
How can you balance necessity with desires? How can you balance work and home? How can you explain to your students - "excuse me, I must tend to this argument a moment" or "excuse me, they are making a mess"? I can't find the balance but my checkbook can't find a way around it.